Blinded Again by the Whiteness & The Tears

Long break from wedding work as was traveling again but back into it this last weekend in a big way. Nothing too exciting til Sunday morning when I went to a new venue in Omotesando, an area filled with expensive restaurants and wedding banquet halls. Even for Omotesando this place was ridiculous. Four story, white brick building with bright white interior. Luxury restaurant, private rooms and a side building that had the “church”.

The “church” was an appalling space; low mirrored ceiling, glass floor with flowers encased inside, white leather seating and a huge pillar right in the middle of the left-side “pews”. How this room was designed and then decorated I have no idea but it ranks among the more revolting and gaudy wedding venues I’ve been to in my time as a pastor.  But there are people who like this kind of thing of course and am sure the bride and groom paid handsomely to reserve the venue.

The rehearsal went well but as the wedding started and I entered with the groom I realized there were two photographers AND a video guy up on the stage, along with the two singers, cellist, violinist, keyboardist and me. Jusssssst a bit crowded and the cameramen and video guy made it worse by constantly moving around, bumping into things and generally being very disruptive. This did not seem to make any impression on the bride as she started crying during her slow entrance and didn’t stop for the entire 25-minute wedding. And this wasn’t the sniffles, it was the full water works. You wonder if the happy couple will watch their wedding video one day and get overcome with emotion or just be hypnotized by all the whiteness?

As always, I try to stay professional and just do my job. This blog is my space to vent or ponder about my chosen profession. I can only hope that even with the declining population, Tokyo will continue to have a thriving wedding market. My kids college tuition will have to be paid somehow.

    • Jebediah
    • May 8th, 2012

    Great stuff!

    • Jebediah
    • May 15th, 2012

    Do you even look at your own blog from time to time?

  1. Jebediah, I was out of the country. Maybe if you use a real email address I will approve your other comments.

  2. Thank you!

  3. Ok, decided to approve the other comments anyway. So, what is your beef my son?

    • Jebediah
    • May 16th, 2012

    No beef, Boy. Just getting your attention. How would you describe most FAKE PRIESTS? To me they appear to be middle-aged, poorly-dressed, balding, fat, near-sighted and WAY, WAY, WAY uncool. That’s how the singers and musicians see us.


  4. I have never once been described that way and hope never to be. How old are you, Jebediah? And why the hostile tone?

  5. I am not hostile, just REAL. Seriously, you have never been DESCRIBED that way, but that’s what they really think. No one will tell you that to your face, however.


  6. I went to 3 FAKE PRIEST parties, in Tokyo and Osaka and a minor provincial city. Dull affairs, so nothing to post. That’s the REALITY of FAKE-PRIESTING! Sorry, Boy!

  7. mikebigisland :
    I have never once been described that way and hope never to be. How old are you, Jebediah? And why the hostile tone?

    Why do you personalize everything? Step back and take a good look at the wedding industry. It’s not just about cringe-worthy fake actors like yourself. Open your eyes and get a grip, the musicians and singers that you work with don’t like you and they resent your un-merited salary.

  8. I’m hardly a cringe-worthy fake actor. I’ve also never received a complaint in my years of work in this industry. The salaray is simple economics; there is a lack of Japanese speaking foreign bokushi and we are paid accordingly.

    I still fail to see your point about the industry. What exactly are you objecting to?

  9. FAKE PRIEST parties?

    Desperate priests require desperate parties I suppose.
    Can’t imagine I’d ever go to something like that.
    What would be the point of it?
    And not just once? You went 3 times???

    How did they come about?
    Who organised them?
    Did it take you 3 times to realize they were dull affairs or did they just get worse each time?

    If you were to host a FAKE PRIEST party what would you do to make it hip?


  10. Josh, I’m mystified by this as well. Bokushi are always working on the weekends and rarely run into each other. I’ve never heard of even a Bokushi bonenkai at year’s end. Maybe this is a Chiba thing?

  11. Funny thing is he says he does Chiba weddings but all his posts come from some bumfuck town in Niigata. I think he is full of Virgin stable droppings.

  12. Brother Pastors of The (Loin)-Cloth:

    Allow me to explain. Wedding Outfit Companies sometimes organize year-end parties as a celebration of the year-long efforts of everyone involved. Surely you are aware of year-end parties in Japan? How about Enkais? The fact that you are incredulous that company parties take place in Japan hardly buttresses your credibility.

    Do you people actually live and work in Japan? Anyway, these parties are organized by wedding companies and take place either at Izakaya, wedding reception halls or hotel ballrooms. One party took place at a hotel in Yebisu. Another in Osaka and a third in a forgettable provincial city. The point of the party, from my point of view, is to score free booze and get a night at a hotel . That’s it. The company wants to foster harmony. What the musicians and singers and other Bokushi thought I don’t know and I don’t care. Remember, Bokushi only want MONEY!

    I knew even before I attended the first one that it would be absurd. I went anyway and drank up. Ditto for the 2nd and 3rd parties. Oh, and the travel (just for myself) and hotels were paid for, for me and my girlfriend. Every time. I’ve been invited to about 10 and attended 3 so far. I guess you guys work for small outfits, not that that really means anything.

    If I were to host a fake priest party I would make sure that all the fake priests (other than myself, of course) were rounded up at the entrance and deported back to where they came from. That’s MY idea of a fake priest party.

    I’ve been yammering about how dull and moronic Bokushi are and you finally admit that’s true, otherwise why would you say that a Bokushi party would be dull and moronic? Your move, Boys!

  13. I would never attend one of those parties. Hope you enjoyed them, I’ll spend the holiday season with my family.

  14. That’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever posted. Did your wife know about the model and your 16-hour affair? And how would you describe fake priests? Is the question too difficult?

  15. mikebigisland :
    I would never attend one of those parties. Hope you enjoyed them, I’ll spend the holiday season with my family.

    Were you ever invited? I guess not, since you can’t believe that they occur.

  16. I am a freelance pastor so do not work for any one company. Have also attended more than enough Japanese bonenkai at my regular job so am happy to skip out on the wedding and music company related ones.

  17. She knows all my history, of course. Marriage is a partnership, you share things. I take it you are single?
    I won’t publish your other comments where you are hostile so don’t bother sending them.

    How would I describe “fake priests”? Liek everyone else in this tough, hard world. Working hard to make a living as best they can.

  18. The company I work for is probably one of the smallest agencies in Japan. The chapel they have me at is probably one of the busiest… so I’m happy. Have been drinking with 2 other fps before…that was pretty good.

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